March 05, 2007

No-bake recipe for dry underwear

Breaking my long silence (have I mentioned that I'm doing at least two, maybe three different "part-time jobs" lately? Yeah...) with a Monday Mission post...


Ingredients:

1
Dora seat
17 pairs of leak-proof ABC underwear
1 lb Gummy Bears
27 lbs of stubborn three year-old
2 cups diluted apple juice
2 cups milk
Various books
1 TtFTE dvd
1 pinch patience as needed

1) Place dry underwear on three year-old. Dose lightly with juice. Let digest one hour and place willing subject on Dora seat with chosen book. Place wet underwear in diaper pail and get another pair.

2) After an hour, chase whining subject and after catching, place on Dora seat again with another book. Praise extensively for not having wet his pants and reward with Gummy Bears (one of each colour). After subject has voided his bladder, pull up pants and release. Further reward with TtFTE video.

3) Add a small glass of milk at the subject's request. Repeat step two approximately 2-3 more times before lunch.

4) Feed subject lunch. Then place on Dora seat with more books. Place wet underwear in diaper pail and get one cloth diaper for nap. When subject doesn't produce any waste, dress him and put him in bed.

5) After 5 minutes, respond to knocking on subject's door and place him on the Dora seat. When the subject has voided both his bladder and his colon, clean him up and put him back to bed.

6) Repeat steps 1-4 after naptime.

7) Repeat step 5 at bedtime.

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