February 22, 2006

Bad boobs...BAD!

Well, not BAD persay...just not up to snuff. According to the doctor anyway.

Iain had his 6 month appt today. The first thing she said to me was "Wow...you look awful." Um, thanks? She says even tho she isn't my dr and doesn't want to tell me what to do, she thinks I am way too skinny and drawn looking. I either have to take better care of myself (i.e. eat the insane amt of calories I'm supposed to while boobing...) or start giving Iain formula so I can get a break and hopefully gain some weight back. Dammit. Not what I wanted to hear.

Then she weighed him. He's dropped in those (blasted) percentiles from 75th to 25th in less than two months. Fuck...that's a lot. She said its possible that I don't have fatty enuf milk. I asked why he had done so well up to now then. Apparently it might be that as his appetite increases, I'm producing enuf but it isn't the quality it was when he was a newborn. I started worrying that I'm giving him too much solids and he doesn't want to nurse enuf. But I don't think that's it...I don't really give him that much.

I don't know what the problem could be. I'm thinking it might be useless leftie. I only feed twice a day from it, and even then I have to switch to rightie after a few minutes so Iain doesn't melt down from hunger. There's just nothing there. I've tried compression as he feeds so the milk that's there flows faster, I've pumped after ever feeding (and i'm lucky if I get an ounce each session), I've tried offering that side at each feeding to stimulate production...it doesn't work. It produces enuf to feed once in the morning and once at dinnertime. Rightie, on the other hand, is in super production mode. Its always full. So I'm thinking that when he feeds from that side, he feels full, but its not always the luscious hind milk.

(HAHA! Just writing abt feeding caused let down. Hoo boy...)

Even tho I know its ok for him, why do I feel like I've failed? :( I mean, I feel pretty good that I gave him an excellent start and was able to nurse him for almost 6 months w/o giving any formula. Better than I did with Cael. I was so happy that bfing was going well from the start this time and was looking forward to nursing for as long as Iain wanted to. But this puts a kink in those plans. I want him to be healthy. I also wondered if maybe his nite waking is from hunger, even tho he doesn't really insist that I feed him. He's usually happy with the soother, tho he's started waking 3-4 times a nite for it.

And before anyone suggests otherwise, the dr is very pro-bfing. She's not one to push formula at all. She said not to stop bfing altogether...far from it. Any amt of boob juice is good for him. Just to replace a couple of feeds a day with formula. Thank the gods 'cuz I love it too much. And since this is our last baby, I want to prolong bfing as long as I can. I already get teary thinking abt weaning completely.


Anonymous Dawn said...

I emailed you!! :)

22/2/06 15:20  
Anonymous Beanie Baby said...

She may be pro-bfing, but that doesn't mean that she knows what she's talking about. If Iain is happy, alert, meeting milestones, peeing and pooping a lot, and growing in length, then he's getting enough calories whether he's on the right centile line or not.

Have you placed him on the bfing charts to see what he looks like compared to other kids on the same diet? Remember--it's normal for b/fed kids to gain weight faster in the first 2-4 months and then drop centiles until they are a year old. That's NORMAL.

Which isn't to say you shouldnt' switch if you want to, as long as it's because YOU want to. Not because your ignoramous doctor doesn't know about the growth patterns of b/fed babies and SHE wants you to.

23/2/06 07:53  
Blogger Tanya said...

he's certainly meeting milestones and then some. no probs there. his weight and length have both tapered off. she said she knows a little drop is fine and normal for bfed babies. she showed me his chart in his file and when i got home, i plotted it on his bfed chart that i printed and its abt the same. a definate drop.

i'm not worried abt his health by any means. maybe he's just gonna have my body type, just like cael. i think the dr was more concerned about ME than him. i've prolly lost another 10 lbs since you visited in the fall. clothes that are usually tight are falling off me. my ribs are showing, as are my hip and collar bones. i'm exhausted all the time and generally feel like crap.

i think that for now to give myself a little bit of a break i'll feed as per normal all morning so let him drain both sides over that time. then in the afternoon i'll give 2 oz at the beginning of a feed then boob 'til he's full. if i find that the 2 oz is filling him too much, i'll cut it back. and he only has maybe 3 feeds in the afternoon anyway, so i'm not even really bfing that much less.

i am going to try to get to the bfing clinic while its open on monday to talk to the nutritionist...the dr insisted i do that anyway to see if there's anything i can do to get my milk richer, if that's even the issue.

ah, the guilt... :(

23/2/06 10:06  
Blogger ccw said...

A very personal decision. I hope that whatever you choose, you ease up on the guilt. You are trying and if it isn't going to work, then there is nothing to feel guilty about.

Of course, that is easier said than done. I dried up with Baby H after a few months for no apparent reason, so I do understand the guilt that comes with supplementing and or stopping breastfeeding all together.

Hopefully the bf clinic will have some advice that works for you.

23/2/06 10:33  

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